Niceties and Personal Dynamics

[dametheadee]

So if you want to know if a particular person or persons are talking about you or something you did, how do you handle it?  Do you try to collect information, or do you go to the person and talk to them?

Do you stand back and watch when people that need to be able to work together for the common good are having issues?  Do you stand back and watch for the possible train wreck when they aren't talking to each other?

And what kind of advice can you really give?  Do you remind them of how their actions or lack of actions go far beyond just themselves?   Do you remind them of the grievance procedure?  How far do you go?

Does it matter how much you are committed to the common good?  Should that change what you say or do?

These questions do not require an answer.  I just wish I had one.  When did people forget the basics of niceties and personal dynamics?  When did they forget how to talk to each other?  Did they forget we all theoretically work for the common good? 

All of these people are highly principled in their own way.  I just can't figure out how they seem to be coming from such a place where they seem to believe the worst out of each other.

I know... cryptic.  But it is the best I can muster right now.

Comments

[kelwinratslayer.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately I have an understanding of where you are coming from. It happens quite a bit in the SCA. One group of people who you really like and admire doesn't agree with another group of people you really like and admire and you hear both sides. Both sides are right and both sides are wrong but how do you make it so the two sides really see that the other sides are just as valid and aren't out to "destroy the universe". I have found that all I can do is try and remind each party that the other party are good folks and that sometimes you have to look at things in a different way. If that fails you just have to stay out of it and listen when each side vents.