Insecurities and friendships
Apr. 14th, 2009 06:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dametheadeeI am a blog reader. I read blogs and email lists that involve people I know in real life and people that I don't know personally but have felt that I have something in common with.
And I realized that I have a problem. I read someone's attempt to express their feelings - whatever they are - and think that they are talking about me. Usually it is when they are feeling sad or saying that they are unhappy with some aspect of their life.
The first thing I think is "Did I do something wrong? Why is <this person> upset with me?" It doesn't matter how well I know this person - I immediately worry that I have done/said/posted something that they found offensive and are using their blog or email as a thinly veiled way to tell me that. Then I take a step back and think "If they had a problem with me, they hopefully would come talk to me directly." I sincerely hope that is true. All of this stems from my fear that people can't or won't talk to me about things I have done that upset them. I still have trust issues, and still have a lot of work to do.
And sometimes it is not a bad thing to remember that.
And I realized that I have a problem. I read someone's attempt to express their feelings - whatever they are - and think that they are talking about me. Usually it is when they are feeling sad or saying that they are unhappy with some aspect of their life.
The first thing I think is "Did I do something wrong? Why is <this person> upset with me?" It doesn't matter how well I know this person - I immediately worry that I have done/said/posted something that they found offensive and are using their blog or email as a thinly veiled way to tell me that. Then I take a step back and think "If they had a problem with me, they hopefully would come talk to me directly." I sincerely hope that is true. All of this stems from my fear that people can't or won't talk to me about things I have done that upset them. I still have trust issues, and still have a lot of work to do.
And sometimes it is not a bad thing to remember that.
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no subject
Date: 2009-04-14 03:30 pm (UTC)